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on my hands and knees!
Jan. 19th, 2026 11:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gillmanI very much have a freeze response to stress, and it's so frustrating! Fish brain fully believes that if I don't move, then whatever is after me won't hurt me.
I'm sure this works great in nature, where I blend in with the algae and mud and duckweed, but it is borderline useless when it comes to applying for graduate schools! Finishing my applications now is fine, most of these close in May - August, so it's not a massive deal that I do this in January as opposed to November. But I now realize that one of them closes on February 1st! Uh oh!
I finally get things done when the stress messes me up so bad I upset my stomach, and that's what's been happening today. I hate that I have to have such a long time to finally get the courage to do things that are pretty mundane and easy. I feel sick right now, as I distract myself from all the applications and wait for pages to load, even though all of this is pretty easy. Even my letters of recommendation are easy- all my professors pulled me aside personally to tell me they'd be happy to write a letter for me. I have no idea what it is that is freaking me out so much!
But, I'm doing it. And I'm glad about it. And hopefully all five will be done today.
I love technical writing and copy editing and working on the more "mundane" aspects of publication and communication. I really do, and I'm hoping that AI wont take over this job too quickly....
Still, if technical writing doesn't work, I have my anthropology degree and field experience that I can hopefully use to get me going in some other direction.
I have no real reason for making this post, I am just a bit anxious about it and dreamwidth is the nice quiet website I come to when I need to calm down.
That being said: Texas Tech, why is your website so slow! Why can I not jump around on my application!! Texas Tech, I want to go to you!! Please make this a bit easier on me, ha!
I'm sure this works great in nature, where I blend in with the algae and mud and duckweed, but it is borderline useless when it comes to applying for graduate schools! Finishing my applications now is fine, most of these close in May - August, so it's not a massive deal that I do this in January as opposed to November. But I now realize that one of them closes on February 1st! Uh oh!
I finally get things done when the stress messes me up so bad I upset my stomach, and that's what's been happening today. I hate that I have to have such a long time to finally get the courage to do things that are pretty mundane and easy. I feel sick right now, as I distract myself from all the applications and wait for pages to load, even though all of this is pretty easy. Even my letters of recommendation are easy- all my professors pulled me aside personally to tell me they'd be happy to write a letter for me. I have no idea what it is that is freaking me out so much!
But, I'm doing it. And I'm glad about it. And hopefully all five will be done today.
I love technical writing and copy editing and working on the more "mundane" aspects of publication and communication. I really do, and I'm hoping that AI wont take over this job too quickly....
Still, if technical writing doesn't work, I have my anthropology degree and field experience that I can hopefully use to get me going in some other direction.
I have no real reason for making this post, I am just a bit anxious about it and dreamwidth is the nice quiet website I come to when I need to calm down.
That being said: Texas Tech, why is your website so slow! Why can I not jump around on my application!! Texas Tech, I want to go to you!! Please make this a bit easier on me, ha!
